Here is a lovely AMBW Reader March 2013 Feature!!
Here is a lovely AMBW Reader March 2013 Feature!!
Ok so this is an update of my adventures in South Korea. It was really fun, scary, exciting, sad, and just all over the place. I loved it!
For those of you that want to know…Kpop is only enjoyed by middle schoolish girls and “wei-guks.” Foreigners. My little girls screamed with every fiber in their body when Beast came on the TV or on the radio at the supermarket. haha!
Now I had the opportunity of talking to many Koreans and what I learned shocked and humbled me. Among the foreigner community the issue came up about dating. Korea is still very much so traditional but that is changing rapidly. I saw few couples in Seoul but hardly one everywhere else. One guy even told me that there is a fear among the community about dating outside the race.
1. They were afraid of abandonment
These were the top three that came up over and over about dating outside your race in Korea. From what I’ve seen and spoken to my Korean friends in Jeonju at Bukdae said that they would date but only for a little while and they wouldn’t take it seriously. There is juts so much fear for the unknown that they feel it is safe to stick to whats known. Plus, Koreans are placed under a lot of stress by family. Family is everything and that is a huge factor in the relationship.
My one friend Karla who is white married a Korean and moved to Seoul to be with his family while he is away in military. The family loves and adores her. They try everyday to teach her how to be Korean and find what she brings to the table to be amazing. But her mother-in-law admitted to us that she was afraid at one point. She sent her son to school in the U.S. and he brought home a diploma and a wife. She was afraid that his wife would be everything that Korea knows westerners to be and she almost tried to get him to nullify his marriage. But Karla left the U.S. and has spent a year in her home to prove herself in Korea and she is doing great.
This made me think a lot about when I started this blog as an experiment for class. My professor told us to truly learn what relationships do to the mind and how society at large has an effect on how we see each other. I look on everything now and see that it is way more than just something you can look at and study. Relationships in general requires a lot of work and I know it doubles when you’re in an interracial relationship. My professor ultimately wanted us to learn from the whole study that relationships are effected by many factors controllable and non-controllable. But what we can do as people is to support one another and understand that (FACTS) relationships are what you make of them. You will get out what you put in.
I love seeing your stories, videos, and updates on your families and it just makes me happy to see people putting in the good fight for something they believe in. I definitely will be going back to Asia soon to visit more friends for months at a time. I’m thinking of going to Japan next but we shall see.
Special shout out to my followers and reviews and re-posters. lol This has turned into something I had not intended. I was just going to finish my study but it has turned into a love page. But you guys are awesome and to all the people that don’t like certain posts I put up…
Thank you. Because you bring my stats up. Haha
So, I found this news article that an interracial couple was being denied membership into a church because they are in interacial couple. Read the article and tell me what you think.
A small Kentucky church has chosen to ban marriages and even some worship services for interracial couples. The Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church, located in Pike County, made the vote in response to a longtime member who is engaged to a man whose birthplace is in Zimbabwe.
Other pastoral leaders in the area were quick to denounce the church’s vote. “It’s not the spirit of the community in any way, shape or form,” Randy Johnson, president of the Pike County Ministerial Association, told the Lexington Herald-Leader.
The small congregation, which usually hosts about 40 members each Sunday, held the vote after longtime member Stella Harville, brought her fiancé Ticha Chikuni to church with her in June. The couple performed a song together at the church in which Chikuni sang “I Surrender All,” while Harville played the piano.
Chikuni, 29, who works at Georgetown College, is black–and Harville, who was baptized at the church but is not an active member, is white. Dean Harville, Stella’s father, said he was told by the church’s former pastor Melvin Thompson that his daughter and her fiancé were not allowed to sing at the church again. However, Thompson recently stepped down and the church’s new pastor, Stacy Stepp, said the couple was once again welcome to sing.
Stepp’s decision prompted Thompson to put forth a recommendation saying that while all members are welcome at the church, it does not “condone” interracial marriage, and that any interracial couples would not be received as members or allowed to participate in worship services. The only exception? Funerals.
The Harville family has formally requested the congregation to reconsider the interracial ban, and Thompson has also said he would like to resolve the issue, the area CBS affiliate WYMT has reported.
A copy of the recommendation, obtained by WYMT, reads in part:
That the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church does not condone interracial marriage. Parties of such marriages will not be received as members, nor will they be used in worship services and other church functions, with the exception being funerals. All are welcome to our public worship services. This recommendation is not intended to judge the salvation of anyone, but is intended to promote greater unity among the church body and the community we serve.
Members of the church held a vote on Thompson’s proposed language, with nine voting in favor and six voting against. The other members in attendance chose not to vote.
Gawker notes that Pike County is 98 percent white and home to the infamous Hatfield-McCoy feud.
The Harville family doesn’t see Gulnare’s new policy promoting anything like unity or civil peace. “They’re the people who are supposed to comfort me in times like these,” Stella Harville said.
And Stella’s father was much more forceful in his denunciation of the interracial ban. “It sure ain’t Christian,” Dean Harville said. “It ain’t nothing but the old devil working.”
Read his blog and see what he has said recently. WordPress has gotten rid of the reblogging feature but they are fixing it. But anyway, its a lovely story that will have you at the edge of your seat. Its amazing what a life/death moment will do to two people that have feelings for eachother.
Ok so there is this awesome guy who created a youtube dedicated to the “support” of AMBW and he has gone out of his way to make a private facebook page for people to join and discuss ambw issues/meet up groups/ and support his youtube site. Im putting his link under the links menu because he has taken an initative to help those interested in AMBW relationships. He is NEW so he has 10 videos to date. So cut him some slack…hes trying. I like his videos because thye’re random, funny, and leave me with the wtf look sometimes. But he is suppportive so im adding him if you need a pick me up and want to laugh. He is such a sweet, funny, and helpful person. He really is a sweetie and I reccomend that those of you with youtube accounts…subscribe.
LOL He says no black girl to fill it with…I am more than happy to!
Enough of this though…find him and subscribe and get to hooking up and making balsian babies… jk. NOT!!!
Its private and he says no one will see your interaction with the group.
Ok so I have some overwhelming thoughts recently about the AMBW dynamic but I’ll get to that later. I did however; find this awesome YouTube channel dedicated to AMBW Real-Life Weddings. Her name is Avery and she is truly a colorful and bright person. But, besides all that, she has awesome videos of interviews and recordings of AMBW videos. She is a relatively new youtuber so…she doesnt have many post but we should still support her efforts. I thought I would post a few on here that I found interesting and insightful. But to each his own…check it out and form your own opinion.
Read this story!!!!!
I reblogged this because its a cute story about AMBW couples meeting each others parents. I like it!!! -Moony
The Adventures of Shen and ShaSha: Meet The Parents
For many couples, having to meet the parents of your significant other can be a harrowing time. We’ve all heard the stories of the “evil mother-in-law” and what not. and it gets even trickier when you’re in an interracial relationship because while you may have it going on, your SO’s family can hate you simply because of your race. So the time came for Shen and I to finally meet each other’s parents and it was an interesting experience to say the least.
Meeting My Parent:
Currently the only family living in my area is my mom; the rest of my family is out in the Midwest. Most of my friends consider my mom to be the “cool” one when it comes to parents and I agree with that. Unfortunately my mom is also a bit passive aggressive at times. When it comes to dating, she never actually opposed it, but she would make certain comments that lead me to think she was uncomfortable with the idea. But my mom also knows that I’m gonna do the fuck ever I want to do and eventually she got use to the idea of me mostly dating Asian men.
I was a bit nervous about my mama meeting Shen. With previous boyfriends the relationships weren’t deep enough for me to want to bring a man home, so my mama only met about 2 or 3 guys. And my mama is a bit old school at times with
her thinking so despite her “coolness” I’ve given her serious side-eye for comments (LOL but not too much…she’d still pop me in the back of my head if she caught it). In fact I gave her a little phone side-eye (yes it IS possible) when she told me the Christmas dinner menu and asked me if Shen ate collard greens. Granted not everyone is a fan of soul food–actually I hate greens–but I doubt she would have asked me that question if Shen was black. Shen has spent a good chunk of his time in the South and around black folks in general. Plus he’ll try pretty much anything. But moving along.
Shen and I spent Christmas morning opening the gift bought each other. Actually we went Christmas shopping together, specifically chose the gifts want wanted for ourselves, made the other person wrap them, then we opened them and acted “surprised” on Christmas day. That afternoon we headed to my mom’s house for dinner.
And dinner went off without a hitch. My mom seemed to like Shen a lot and we all managed to get through the dinner without having to eat any feet. I breathed a sigh of relief when we left my mom’s house and made it back to my place.
Meeting his Parents:
As I’d mentioned before, I’d heard stories of Asian parent being pretty hard on their children when it came to dating outside their race, and even worse on them if the SO was black. This was a general fear of mine when it came to dating Asian men as well. I once dated a guy who after a month decided to call it quits because his parents apparently hated black people and he didn’t want
to fight them. I was very upset at first but then decided it was stupid to think about a guy who clearly wasn’t thinking about me. However this guy did come to my mind when I started dated Shen.
Then I remember that Shen was a totally different person with a different family dynamic. After the initial meeting of my mom, I jokingly asked Shen to introduce me to his mom. “Okay,” was his reply. I did a double take. He didn’t hesitate at all to answer. In fact a few days later he tried to set up a meeting with me and his family. Unfortunately my work schedule got crazy so it didn’t happen. Actually my work schedule was so busy we didn’t end up meeting until about two months after I asked.
So the time came for us to meet. Strangely my initial fear of meeting Shen parents were gone. Shen and I met with his brother (who I’d actually met several times before) and his parents. His dad was more on the side while his mom seems fascinated with me. She was interested in hearing me talk about living in Japan and loved the fact that I used chopsticks while we ate. When Shen and I
were about to head out, she gave me a big hug–something I really wasn’t expecting.
So both meetings went off pretty well. My mom likes Shen a lot, and Shen’s parent’s seem to like me. Eventually we’ll get to meeting other family members…::thinking about some of her country ass cousins::…yeah we’ll see how that goes…
Post belongs to this blog!!: